The change in my life!

When I look back at my path in life that I had endured, it has made me who I am today! and buy telling my story of struggles and living with depression , I sure hope it can help others to see the light, even if its just one person! I did what I hoped for!

Together with my partner, We worked on building our skills to try to live as authentic and as close as you can to nature and clean eating, which is so very important for your health if you struggle like me, eating clean foods and staying active is medicine! Also I have learned that also the only way to do that is being truly authentic to yourself!

So we bought a small cheap acreage and began homesteading! Got some chickens , raised meat rabbits, built up as many garden plots as we could and each year we keep growing more in size!

This year Andrew added a beautiful greenhouse, we used it this summer but it was late in the season and I am so excited to start in early spring next year to see what its going to produce for wonderful crops.

Plus we added another good sized area for an indoor garden this year so super excited for next year!

2008 We had a beautiful baby girl and thats when I slipped into a major depression, sometimes I would not talk to anyone for weeks while I stayed home with the baby.

When she was 9 months old I fell really sick with galls stones, I struggled with a baby because I was sick all the time, certain foods would just paralyze me with pain!

Andrew is a processor operator and has been logging know for 17 years we been together and still is a logger to this day! Yes 17 years off full throttle and no sleep sure makes you age fast. Money sure is not everything with no balance in life.

My partner, Andrew worked seven days a week and was gone 15 hr days so I was on my own most of the time. The day went: up at 2:30 Am with Andrew to say goodbye and then I would see him sometime between 5pm -7pm.

After falling sick mentally and Physically I knew it was time to work on my self so I studied to become a certified health coach mostly to help myself!

When I received my Certificate, I just packed it away thinking I would never be good enough to help others!

Over the years with a few more kicks in life and more hard times, I fell further and further down the black hole.

One side effect was the anger that was growing inside from not being truly authentic to myself! I could not even stand myself anymore because I was always so angry! I cried alot but the pain of everything was adding up so deep inside and the one person who I was hurting the most was me! The pain was so deep. The depression was so great!

Food was where I found comfort! Specially if I grew or harvested it myself!

Thats where Geeseinthegardens started! You would find me working on anything I could to plant gardens into. The horses become my big pile of black gold to compost every year! I began canning my own homegrown food, collected my own eggs, butchered my own chickens and rabbits, searched and searched for fiddlehead patches and made herbal teas from the side of the road and encouraged friends to do the same! Self taught myself to catch 8 pound char out of the lakes of BC because clean eating was my priority!

BUT if I said that was the end of the mental Illness and everything was ok I still would be lying to you once again!

2017 to 2018 was a really ruff time for me, I had hit rock bottom and did not have the energy to cover it up anymore or the desire to hide in a deep black hole!

Thats when I started having bad suicidal thoughts!

I was giving up on life!

BUT I truly did not want to give up deep down inside, so I found the strength to reach out!